It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve written a post. I have been so busy with work and house hunting. Sadly, my health is quite bad. However, I am extremely pleased with how well my body is coping under all the stress.
If I think back to just a year ago, I was still suffering with non epileptic seizures most days. I was in constant, relentless pain and every day was a struggle. There was absolutely no way I could have done what I’m doing now.
I may be exhausted and I may be suffering at night with neuropathic pain BUT and it is a big one 😁 I’m doing it. I’m getting up everyday. I am working to the best of my ability and learning all the time. I’m even losing weight thanks to my lovely cousin getting me onto Herbalife. I’ve managed to lose 1st 8lb in just 11 weeks. I’ve still got a long way to go but all of these positives are huge for me.
We have started house hunting in the Scottish Borders and may even make an offer very soon. It’s exciting and scary all rolled into one. Everything I have wanted for so very long is finally falling in to place.
When I went to University, I was a single parent. I had a 4 year old and a 10 month old baby. I had spent 7 years in what can only be described as a relationship from hell. I had escaped and now was my chance. I wanted to build a life for me and my beautiful boys. They were and always will be my motivation. I believed that I could do it. I planned to get my degree, buy a house and build our future. Little did I know that everything we went through would put a huge spanner in the works.
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is an illness associated with ex service men and women. I had no idea how much trauma damages your brain. Like footprints, each awful thing that me and my boys went through, left its mark. I thought that I could just leave it all behind us. I did for a time. When I was happy and safe, my brain decided it was time to deal with it all. Along came Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). That was my ‘spanner’. It came along and took all my hopes and dreams with it.
There was a time that I believed things could never improve. Days went into months. Months went into years. Then, my light came. I was finally offered the opportunity to attend a proper hospital rehabilitation.
The 5 week course that I attended in January was tough BUT worth every moment. I am truly on the road to recovery. I’m not miraculously healed but I’m functioning again. I’m stronger and fitter and living again. Everything that I have worked so very hard for is finally starting to fall into place.
I still have tough days. I still have nightmares. The difference is that I’m dealing with my problems now and that’s all part of my healing process.
We are safe, we are well, we are making progress.
I hope you all can too. If you are suffering, please don’t accept them turning you away. There is help and if you fight hard enough, eventually you will get the help you need.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.