We all live in a way that we have become ‘conditioned’ to. We learn how to adapt and survive in our environment. This ‘survival’ can effect our health if we put too much pressure on ourselves to keep it up no matter what life throws our way.
Sometimes life requires us to stop and take a look at what is going on around us. You need to accept that it’s okay to stop and allow your brain to process what is happening.
This is very relevant to what happened to me when I first started to experience symptoms of FND.
I began my teaching degree when my youngest son was just 10 months old and my oldest son was 5. I had finally got the courage to separate from the boy’s dad after years of physical and mental abuse. My life was changing (for the better) at a ridiculous rate. I never stopped to take the time to process what was happening and what was changing.
In my final year of University, I went through an awfully traumatic experience involving my children and their dad. I had to stop all contact for their safety. This all happened just as I was about to start my final placement. I felt that I couldn’t stop and process what had happened. I went on as if nothing had happened and thankfully passed my placement and also got offered my first teaching post at my placement school. This was all fantastic, however I had no idea what mental stress I was going through.
When I first fell ill in May 2013, I was in a great place. As mentioned before, I had just started working at a lovely little school. My boys were happy and healthy. Mr Right was just amazing, supporting me and looking out for me and my boys. So why did I suddenly fall ill?
After research into my condition, I found that FND can be a way of your brain dealing with a traumatic event. If your brain is not given time to process what has happened it stores it away in your sub conscious to be dealt with later when you are ‘mentally’ ready.
When I fell ill, it was at a time when my brain felt that I was ready to deal with the emotions. I was happy and content and so FND was unleashed upon me. My brain became overwhelmed with what was being thrown at it and so it became confused. This is where I went into the fight or flight mode. My nervous system went under attack. My body began releasing too much adrenaline and began to react to the battle going on inside.
My message to anyone taking the time to read my story is to allow yourself to process changes in your life. FND can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. Perhaps if I had stopped and asked for help when I was going through the trauma in my life, I wouldn’t be ill today.
I believe most of us are guilty of ‘living to work’ instead of ‘working to live’. When we experience something awful in our lives, we tend to just bite the bullet and carry on. This is a human survival technique. However, if you imagine your brain like a hard drive on a computer, full of information suddenly obtaining a virus, we wouldn’t just leave it there. The virus has to be ‘dealt’ with in order for the computer to work properly. This is the same as when we come across a difficult point in our lives. If we just try to carry on as normal, eventually our mind needs to deal with the difficult experience in order to carry on working efficiently.
So I guess my advice for anyone whether you have FND or not is to Stop, Look and Listen. Our mind is a precious thing, look after it and always allow yourself some time to process what is going on around you.
Thanks for reading, Charlotte xxx