I have been seriously ‘slacking’ on the blog so far this year so I thought it was a good idea to update those of you who follow 🙂
Unfortunately, since my last blog my health has begun to deteriorate (again). My cluster migraines have started to return causing more non epileptic seizures. On the plus side, this has been occurring more in the evenings which thankfully hasn’t effected work. However, it is my family that are suffering the consequences which leaves me guilt ridden.
I have had a pre op assessment for my heart and have to see the Cardiologist in 2 weeks time. My fainting episodes have lessened but have been replaced with awful bad turns. I begin to pour with sweat for no reason and feel as though someone is sitting on my chest (not a very pleasant feeling!!). As a temporary measure my GP has given me a spray to ease the chest pain called Glyceryl Trinitrate. This is usually used for Angina attacks but it does seem to ease the pressure on my chest. Although it makes me feel drunk?!?
I could easily fall into a hole of self pity but what’s the point of that? What would I achieve? If anything allowing myself to become depressed will only worsen my symptoms!!
My partner (Mr Right) has been unbelievably amazing. I know what stress all this is causing him, he could quite easily run a mile from me. I know that we are strong. Our family unit is a team, we work together to get through all these challenges.
I often wonder what effect all of this will have on my boys. I can only hope that these experiences will make them strong, independent and empathetic men. I try my best to make sure they have a ‘normal’ upbringing but there are some things that I can’t protect them from. They seem to accept all that happens and both seem to be happy. When I apologise for being ill my older son often says that he wouldn’t change anything and calls me a great mum 🙂 . They really inspire me each and every day. They cope so well with everything (better than me on most days!)
I will continue to fight this fight for as long as it takes. I can’t let it win. My family need me just as much as I need them.
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share to help spread awareness of FND.
Charlotte x x x