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I have been suffering a lot over the past week. I met with a cardiologist registrar on Wednesday who made the decision to not go ahead with the Electro Cardioversion. He felt that the operation was ‘too high risk’. I was told to continue using the glycerine trinate spray and that they will monitor my heart over the next six months. However, when I got home from work on Thursday, I received a phone call from the registrar. After going over my case with the consultant cardiologist they are now going to run more extensive tests. Next week, I’m having a 48 hour ecg and an echo of my heart (ultrasound).

When I was told that they weren’t going ahead with the operation I was relieved but at the same time, I felt overwhelmed by the prospect of dealing with the fainting episodes and heavy chest pain on top of my brain disorder. So when I received the call yesterday I suddenly felt like things were going to improve.

Unfortunately, I have had to stop using the spray as it sets off my migraines and causes more seizures (sometimes I just can’t bloody win). I have just finished work for half term so hopefully this week will give me some recovery time!

I really feel let down by my own body. It’s almost like I am fighting a battle against myself. The constant pain is trying its best to destroy me but I’m not sure how much more fight left in me! My body is very weak, I was sick through the night because of the pain.

This is the harsh reality of living with a chronic illness. Sometimes you can’t be strong and fight, you have to stop and allow yourself time to deal with it all.

If by sharing this personal journey I can help just one other sufferer see that they are not the only one going through it all, I would be grateful.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Charlotte xxx

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