As well as developing understanding of FND, I am hoping to enlighten others of the hardships of living with chronic illness.
I constantly worry about my children, just as any mother does. Ultimately, we just want our children to be happy and healthy. I worry that they’re not getting the mother they deserve.
When the boys were little we were constantly out and about. We went here, there and everywhere. Since 2013 when I fell ill, things have changed. I always try my best to keep them active. We go and take part in an activity, whether that be, bowling, golf, badminton etc. However, I still feel like my illness is making them unhappy. My eldest son is very aware. He is constantly checking on me, asking if I am okay. This breaks my heart. A boy of his age shouldn’t have any worries.
Another common effect of chronic illness is guilt. It begins to consume you. I feel guilty about everything. I am constantly letting down everyone around me. I feel guilty about not being the best mother I can be. I feel guilty about not being able to work full time. I feel guilty about being a bad friend and girlfriend. However, I know that feeling this way isn’t going to solve ANYTHING!!!
There are dozens of websites that discuss chronic illness and guilt. One in particular, explains the pointlessness of feeling guilty about something you can’t control. It’s really worth a visit:
I believe it all boils down to acceptance. No one chooses to be ill. Family and friends understand that it’s not your fault. Even if you are free of any illness, guilt is a natural human emotion. It’s just important to not let it consume your life.