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I’ve been lost in the darkness of pain, drained of all my energy and heading towards despair. I thought the pain would never go and I began the dangerous game of self pity … I began to question, why me? What have I done to deserve all this pain? Then reality struck.

I began to realise that despite all the pain and exhaustion, I am blessed. I am surrounded by the most amazing family and friends. My Uncle and Auntie were there from the beginning. They stayed with me. They nursed me. They cared for me. Then my children and my Mr Right. I began to understand that I am so extremely lucky. Imagine having to go through all this and having to be alone. No one to nurse or care for me.

I’m not a religious person, although I have nothing against those with faith. Suppose that there is a higher being. Maybe each and every person is chosen for a purpose. Maybe I am being ‘tested’. Perhaps there might be a purpose to my suffering or perhaps there isn’t. All I know is that life really is too short. One lovely friend of mine reminded me not to ‘dwell on the negative’. I may have lost a few days this week due to being ill but I need to make up for those days and live life to the fullest.

I guess what I am trying to say is, no matter how dark or despairing some days in this life may seem, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, it may not seem like things will ever get better but somehow, eventually, they will.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Charlotte xxx

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