I have had a great week with my lovely boys. Although my health isn’t good I have managed to pace myself by having rest days inbetween each activity. I’m lucky that they understand how my illness works. My eldest son is turning out to be quite a wonderful, compassionate human being. He constantly looks out for my well being, he knows when I’m not good and always reacts accordingly.

This week has really got me thinking about the affects of my illness on my children. I constantly worry that they’re are unhappy or that my illness ruins their lives in some way. However, because of their ages and their maturity they’re able to discuss their issues and worries. They often reassure me that they’re extremely happy whether be it through their actions or during our little chats. As I said to a fellow sufferer this week, parenting doesn’t come with a manual. All we can do is love them beyond measure and try our best! 

I am physically and mentally exhausted (the joys of living with FND ) . Despite feeling this way, I carry on. Many lovely friends and family members often say to me that they ‘don’t know how I do it’. If I’m honest, neither do I 😥. I think it’s just a matter of having to! Some days I really want to give up. The constant pain and exhaustion become too much. I dread the possibility that one day I may wake up and not be able to walk, I can’t let this happen but it can to sufferers of Functional Neurological Disorder. It really is time that more is done about this life destroying illness.

At the start of next year, alongside a fellow blogger and FND sufferer, I am planning to do a social media type of awareness raiser. I am also planning some different fundraising events. I want to make a difference. The thought of anyone else, especially children, having to live like this makes me sick. Hopefully, eventually more will be done to make living like this more bearable!

It’s back to work and back to reality next week. Hopefully, my body won’t let me down!

Thanks for taking the time to read my story . 

Charlotte Xxx 

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