I often wonder how my life would be if I didn’t have FND. I worked so hard to get my degree, I wanted to be a teacher . I really wanted to make a difference. If I’m completely honest , there was many a day when I thought it wouldn’t happen. I was on my own with two children, the youngest was a baby. However, by some amazing miracle and a LOT of hard work, I achieved my dream. It was a real struggle but it was worth every second. I can’t help but wonder why? Why after all of that did it have to be ruined by becoming ill?
I want to be happy and healthy but it just doesn’t happen. I always try not to complain about the pain and the exhaustion but lately I have been failing to do so. This isn’t fair on anyone, especially my little family! Honestly, I don’t know how Mr Right deals with me. I am completely consumed by it all and constantly complain and break down. In a sense I feel that I’m losing my way. Perhaps this is just a blip? I hope so! I know that I’m over working and as a result my health is suffering. However, I want to work and give my all. Why after all I have been through to get where I am did this have to happen?
In reality, there are no answers. This is the card I have been dealt and I have to deal with it! I must take action and pull myself together. My boys deserve better than this, although they never complain, I am aware that I’m failing. When you live with a chronic illness it is only normal to get ‘stuck’ from time to time. After all, moaning and complaining about my pain won’t make it disappear. It’s time to get proactive and do something about it! Wish me luck 🙂
I survived the ‘Tilt test’ on Tuesday although it was rather horrific! It’s all for the greater good though!
Thanks for taking the time to read my story .