I have been experiencing a rather awful new symptom this weekend. I considered posting a video to show my readers what it looked like but decided against it for now as it’s very personal and quite distressing.
I have always suffered from facial twitching and temporary paralysis since being diagnosed with FND. Unfortunately, this weekend, this has developed further. Last night, my right eye and face began to droop and spasm uncontrollably. This is a symptom that I’m used to and after taking my evening medication it eventually settled. About an hour later, my left side of my face and eye repeated the same thing. If I’m honest, I did start to feel quite concerned as both sides don’t tend to do this on the same day. Luckily, after 10 minutes or so the spasms settled again. Normally all of this is an indication that a seizure is brewing so I just rested.
After an hour or so, I began to feel a sharp pain in my eyes and then suddenly both my eyes clamped shut and wouldn’t open. This was extremely painful and it felt like my eyes were being crushed inwards. Mr Right tried to massage around my eyes and forehead but said it was so tense that it felt like rock. Eventually, this tight crushing feeling tightened my whole face. Then after about 30 minutes of Mr Right massaging the tightness eased. However, I still couldn’t open my eyes. As you can imagine, by this point I did start to panic. I tried to stay calm and relaxed but I just couldn’t get my eyes to open. Finally, after nearly an hour, I tried to stand up and a few minutes later they began to open up again (thank goodness!!).
It was a really horrible experience last night and I don’t think I could have done it on my own. Unfortunately, this is the cold, harsh reality of living with a chronic illness like Functional Neurological Disorder. I never know what to expect. My symptoms can change from day to day but I must try not to live in fear. If I allow the fear to consume me, I will begin to lose. Honestly, I know why this is all happening and I am trying to do something about it!
I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy but it’s the card I have been dealt. I will not allow anxiety to creep in and I will try to stay positive and listen to my body.
Thanks as always for taking the time to read my story. Just by reading my blog, you help me to raise an understanding of FND.