I have been quite stuck on how to explain my current health situation. My neurologist has basically said that he is quite sure that the numbness and loss of movement in my back and legs is being caused by my FND. Of course, I’m pleased that there doesn’t appear to be a problem with my spine. However, as it’s my FND there’s nothing that can be done.

All I have is hope. Hope that this new symptom doesn’t develop. Hope that I won’t wake up and not be able to walk. Dr K said that we can try some neurophysiology, which is basically neurological physiotherapy to try and improve the sensation in my back and bottom but there’s no guarantee that it will help/work.

The numbness started the day after I first lost the use of my legs. Originally, it was just in my lower back. Now it has spread into my bottom and half way up my back. It could ease but at the moment, it’s getting worse. I am experiencing more weakness in my legs and they keep not reacting when I try to move them. I can feel my body losing power. 

Everyone keeps saying that at least it’s nearly Christmas but what they don’t understand is that when you live with a chronic illness and suffer with fatigue it doesn’t matter. I could have a month of rest but it doesn’t make things easier. 

My neurologist is going to be at my local hospital on Tuesday to run some more tests. I’m not a religious person but I have nothing against those with faith. It’s crazy that despite being a person who doesn’t have a belief, I suddenly have an urge to pray. Not for selfish reasons but for my loved ones. I know that the world would continue to go on if I was to lose my abilities but I still feel that my boys need me. They’ve been through so much already. They don’t deserve to go through anything else!

I have a very busy week ahead  (as usual!). Let’s hope my body doesn’t let me down. I have so much to be thankful for and I must stay focused on the positives. 

Thanks for taking the time to read my story . 

Charlotte xxx 

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