I may be losing my current battle but I will not lose the war! My brain is exhausted and trying to deal with all this pain so of course I am going to experience new symptoms.
Over the past few days, I have lost the use of my legs momentarily. I know that this is linked to the numbness in my back and bottom. I will not lie, I hate lying, I’m petrified. Normally, I am not anxious but it’s hard to not feel quite anxious when your legs just go to sleep. At the moment, if I try to distract my brain and get others to move my legs up and down, eventually the feeling comes back. I have to hope that this continues to work.
Unfortunately, unlike my seizures, I get no warning with my legs. It seems to happen anytime. I just have to stay positive and fight against this all the way. I have been referred to a specialist neurological physiotherapy centre to try and improve my sensations and movement. Also I am going to try some more specific CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy ). This CBT focuses on retraining my brain to stop it blocking the signals to my body.
This time of year is not great for everyone. Especially those spending Christmas without certain loved ones for the first time. This makes me realise that despite all this absolutely awful shit (please excuse my language) I MUST be grateful for what I have. I won’t whine and I will stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on getting better.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story.