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fndandmecom

Living with Functional Neurological Disorder.

Month

January 2017

Change is good. 

It’s been a busy couple of weeks. I took an educated decision to step away from my blog for a short time to focus on my family and health. I am pleased to say that despite being extremely busy and full of cold my symptoms have been fairly controlled. Unfortunately, both my boys have been poorly and I honestly thank god that I have been well enough to look after them and help them get well again.

I live each day as it comes and have found that this keeps me in check mentally. I have learnt to never expect too much of myself and my body. I have been working hard but making sure that I don’t over do it. Strangely, I have felt that my brain has been preoccupied with fighting the virus I’ve had. It’s almost like it’s distracted by the temperature and therefore isn’t able to focus on the migraines and pain. Luckily for me that has meant less seizures and no loss of movement in my legs!

I know that my body is physically exhausted and because of this I know that I need to rest. If any of my fellow sufferers of FND have found a decrease in symptoms when they’ve got a normal illness, please do let me know. 

Unfortunately, I am still very numb in my back and bottom but I am getting used to it. I’m STILL waiting for my appointments in physiotherapy but I understand that the NHS is under a lot of pressure. I have recently started to work out again and I’m pleased to say that I’m coping well and not fainting or fitting. I am feeling brighter and healthier already. If my body is in too much pain, I leave it until the following day.

My plans for a fundraising event for FND Action are coming together nicely. It’s exciting to have the opportunity to help spread awareness of Functional Neurological Disorder. I’m shocked at how common it is yet so little is understood about it. Let’s make a change and turn 2017 into the year of growth and learning for FND.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. 

Charlotte xxx 

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Keepers.

Each and every day, you encounter a miraculous mixture of people. Every person you meet can awaken a thousand different emotions. Once in a while, you will come across a ‘keeper’, a perfect person who fits perfectly into your journey of life. At first, you might not even realise, other times it will hit you the minute that you meet.

These first encounters can be brought together in so many ways and that’s what can make it tricky. Do you spend your life analysing each and every meeting? Or do you simply leave it all in the hands of fate? Is it right to hope that what is meant to be, will be? No one wants to miss a special opportunity but on the other hand you don’t want to waste time with people who you’re not meant to ‘keep’.

As humans, we tend to stereo type. It’s a natural way for us to put the people we meet into categories. This doesn’t mean that we automatically judge people in a nasty way but we simply try to figure out who they are or what type of person they might be as quickly as possible. However, as you grow older you begin to realise that it’s almost impossible to understand someone after that first cross of paths.

I often wonder how people ‘see’ me. You can’t please everyone and I know that I’m definitely not everyone’s ‘cup of tea’ but it does cross my mind from time to time. Now that I’m older and since being diagnosed with FND, I find that I worry less about what others think. People will always judge. Unfortunately by putting my personal journey of living with a chronic illness on a blog, I’m giving the world a free pass to judge as much as they want. 

All I can say is this is me. I’m a 34 year old woman, mother, girlfriend (I hate that word!), teacher and now a blogger who is trying to make it through this awful journey of life with Functional Neurological Disorder. I’m far from perfect but I’m loved. I will always be grateful for my wonderful family and friends. If I had to experience this life alone, I probably wouldn’t be here. If you are alone, please reach out. No one should have to suffer without support and if I can help then please ask.

Remember, life isn’t easy but life is beautiful. We all have hard times and will suffer from time to time. It’s these times of suffering that really make you appreciate the little things. I am grateful for my ‘keepers’. Those special few who have made my life just a little bit brighter. I look forward to finding and keeping just a few more on my journey. 

I am waiting for my neuro physiotherapy to start. My legs are weak but I haven’t lost movement for 5 days. My seizures have increased but are shorter and less violent. I’m back at work so I’m going to pace myself as much as possible 🙂 

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. 

Charlotte xxx 

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