It can become increasingly hard to stay positive when you’re constantly fighting a battle. I have struggled to motivate myself to blog over the past few weeks. This is mainly because I have been dealing with a myriad of new health issues. Some of these are linked to FND, however some are not. The strange thing is that I find it easier to accept symptoms of FND. When it comes to the unexpected extras, I find it so much harder.
Every person you know, every person you meet would have come across ‘darker’ times. Unfortunately, it’s a fact that at some points life can be extremely bloody hard! I like to think that I’m a rational person but despite that I do sometimes wonder why? I know that everyone else has bad things happen. I hate to be all ‘poor me’ but seriously, I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’m so exhausted, there’s not much fight left in me. I am no angel and have made MANY mistakes but have learnt from them and tried to become a better person. I take each challenge FND throws my way and fight not just for me but my family too.
A cross road lies in front of me. Only I can choose which way to go. I can allow the ‘Dark Horse’ to carry me away OR I can run in the other direction as fast as my numb legs will carry me! Those that take the time to read my story will know that I will always choose to run but for the first time, that decision hasn’t come easily.
If I knew how hard life was going to be perhaps I would have taken more care. I don’t ever want my downfalls to drag my children along with them. I try so hard to protect them but they’re older now. Let’s hope that all of this doesn’t make them ‘victims of life’.
So I will continue to fight all of my health battles and take each day as it comes. No one can be sure what lies ahead. If living with a chronic illness means that I have to make big changes in my life then so be it. As long as I have my little family by my side, I know that everything will be alright.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story.