When I originally started to fall ill I guess you could say that I was taking life for granted. I was constantly busy, working hard and looking after my little family. Then, just like that, everything collapsed around me. I have been left with a thousand ‘what ifs?’.
What if I had slowed down? What if I hadn’t allowed life to stress me out? What if ‘it’ had all been so different? Who knows? Would I be well? I know that there’s no point questioning it all. My life is what it is. I am grateful for all the positives that surround me but I can’t help but miss my old life. Life before Functional Neurological Disorder.
I have lived with FND for nearly 4 years now and yet there’s still so little known about it despite how common it has become. My own GP knows only what I have taught her and at first it was extremely hard to get her to understand. Unfortunately, FND was seen as more of a psychological illness at first but it is now understood better. They know now that it is a disorder of the brain that causes misfiring and all the symptoms experienced are very REAL!!
I often think that if I knew what was going to happen, I would have appreciated it so much more. I would have cherished my runs in the morning before work and my nights out with friends. I would have cherished my long days out with my boys just that little bit more.
If living with FND has taught me anything, it’s to never ever take things for granted. Every single moment is one you can’t get back. You really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Health is a gift, please treasure each and every day.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story.