As I drove away from my workplace on Friday afternoon, I began to cry. These were not tears of joy or sorrow. These tears that fell were tears of relief. I made it, only just but I got there. It was finally the end of term.
It becomes increasingly hard to stay positive. Trying to believe that all of this pain will go away. You tend to feel that you’re wishing your life away. You’re weary at the thought of how tired you already feel when you wake on a Monday after two day’s rest. Despite all this, you keep plodding on. Why? Because it’s all you can do.
We are barely surviving financially on my part time wages, even though I work 5 days I only teach 2 and a half. That’s the joy of my profession. If I was well enough to work full time we would be much better off but I am already pushing my body too much both physically and mentally. I hate that my FND continues to ruin things every day!
I need to rest and recuperate over the next couple of weeks. We are heading to Scotland tomorrow to spend some time with my parents. I’m really looking forward to ‘shutting down’. I have a great need to eliminate any feelings of stress and to just completely relax. Focus on my boys and nothing else.
I am going to make the most of everything. Having the chance to wake up naturally, having no alarm, it’s pure heaven. Also, having no set schedule and taking each moment as it comes is a rare opportunity. I plan to rest, meditate (good to try something new ;)) and heal as much as I can in the time I have.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.