Living with FND and chronic illness can be cruel. You feel constantly exhausted and even when you do get the chance to rest, your body goes into fight mode.
I have just started my half term. Luckily, I don’t have too much work to do. However, my health is suffering and my symptoms are definitely worse. I don’t know if this is personal to me but whenever I finally get the chance to stop and rest, my body goes into shut down. It’s like all the seizures I’ve managed to stop (through meditation /neurophysio) come crashing towards me. My pain is 10 times worse even though it’s bad enough normally.
I honestly believe that if I was to stop working completely, this illness, this ‘disorder’ would totally consume me. It’s as if when I stop and I’m not working, it gives Functional Neurological Disorder a chance to take charge. My brain has more time to mix up signals and attack my nervous system.
Feeling like this makes me want to give up. I just can’t win. My body is in disarray. I still feel incredibly exhausted despite having a long, deep sleep. I’m freezing inside and have goosebumps on the outside yet my body is sweating. It’s like I have a complete computer malfunction. It’s days like this that I wish my neurologist or doctors could see. Maybe if they spent a week with me, they could start to understand what a struggle it can be.
I hear all too often, from fellow sufferers, that they’re told that this illness is ‘all in their head’. In a way it is but not psychologically but physically. FND is a malfunction of the brain. Believe me, the symptoms we experience are far from ‘make believe’. You can find better detailed descriptions at :
Fnd Action website
So please, before you judge, try to understand.
We will continue to work together to raise awareness of FND through as many ways as possible.
My partner, who I fondly call, Mr Right is running the Beachy Head Marathon on October 28th to raise money for FND Action. The more money we can raise, the better the chance we have of getting the best possible care for sufferers of this horrible, life changing illness.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story.