Strength, learned lessons and pride.

Only a few people know my true story. One day, when the time is right, I will share my full, crazy and sometimes heart breaking journey in the form of a book- hey a girl can dream 😁

Today, I attended an open day at a university for my eldest son. If you would have told me 16 years ago that this was going to happen, I would never have believed you.

The thing is, many of us have tales to tell of rising from adversity. Fighting our own personal battles. This got me thinking that in reality, we all have it inside of us. It’s part of being human. We are strong when we have to be. Our experiences shape us into who we are meant to be.

I’m a true believer that we are in charge of our own destiny. Of course, we do not choose to make bad choices or to suffer. However, it’s what we decide to learn from our experiences that really make a difference. It’s by no means easy. Sometimes, it takes some of us longer to learn and we continue to repeat that mistake. When we finally get to the point of learning, we adapt and move on to our next challenge.

I’m sure you are thinking, please get to the point I’m trying to make 😂 so what I’m trying to say is that if you are stuck, if you can’t see a way out, please, please believe me that there is a way to get through whatever you are going through. You have to grasp on to any smidgen of hope you have inside of you.

When it’s time and I can share my truth, I hope you will recognise that if I can escape, if I can get to where I am now from where I have been, then we really are all capable of living our best lives no matter what we have been through.

I’m not perfect at all. I have many, many flaws but I’m totally fine with that. We don’t know everyone’s story. Please be kind. Treat others how you would like to be treated.

I’m proud of how far my little family have come. I was 19 years old when my first son was born. A real ‘statistic’. I was a child having a child. We grew up together and then I was blessed 4 years later with my youngest son. Despite, the awful things we have been through, we have risen and will continue to rise above and beyond our limits.

My children are literally my heartbeat. I am absolutely thrilled and grateful for what amazing young men they are becoming. Their resilience is awe inspiring. They are my fuel, my fire and my reason for never giving up.

It’s been a really tough few weeks. I’ve been pushing myself beyond my limits and my physical and mental health are suffering as a result. My symptoms have flared up and I have some big decisions to make. I know that whatever happens, I will have my family behind me.

I’m exhausted but still fighting. As I have said many times before, I have too much to fight for to give up now!

Sending well wishes, hugs and hope to anyone reading this now who needs reminding just how amazing and fantastic they really are.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Charlotte xxx

Surviving work with a chronic illness.

I have had another tough week with managing work and my FND. It has got me thinking about just how those of us living with chronic illness can hold down a full time job. It’s tricky and requires so many adjustments but somehow I am just about sailing through!

Here’s my ‘top tips’ for surviving work when living with FND.

1) Pacing – I mention this a lot but it really is so very important. It’s bloody hard too. If like me your job is a demanding one, it’s so easy to completely and utterly over do it. This has been a long, hard lesson but I know now that sometimes you just have to say no.

I have always been a hard worker, wanting to be the best I can be. However, if you keep pushing and don’t slow down, you will just crash. I still strive to be a good employee but when my body and brain start the warning signs (migraine, tremor, face twitching or drooping) I have to stop.

2) Accepting help– Again, if you are anything like me, this will be difficult. I have been with Mr Right for nearly 10 years now and before that I was a single mum with two young boys going to university full-time.

Despite the length we have been together, I still behave very much like a single person. I don’t like help, I don’t like charity, I get things done on my own. The trouble is that I simply can’t. I am definitely not Super Woman and due to Functional Neurological Disorder, I am still really quite poorly a lot of the time. If I am going to survive working all day, 5 days a week, I have to accept that I need some help.

CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) has really helped me with accepting help. I used to feel absolutely terrible and useless when I couldn’t do it all but CBT helped me to realise that it’s OK to admit when you need support.

3) Keeping to a routine – This is essential. Of course, it’s nice to live life freely and I definitely do that when I’m off work but to be able to get up every day and go to work, I must stick to the routine.

I have become so in tune with my routine that my whole morning is perfectly run. Thus stopping any stress from having to rush too much. I am not ashamed to admit that I go to bed at 9.30pm every week night. Of course, I don’t have a wild lifestyle but it works for me and ensures that I am getting enough sleep to be able to function a whole day at work.

Another part of this is taking my medication at regular intervals. Managing my meds is important as if I take them too late, I will struggle to get up in the morning.

4) Work/life balance – I appreciate how lucky I am to be working full time and living a somewhat normal life. However, there are days when I feel like death warmed up. My chronic pain can completely consume me and when I get home, I just want to curl up and disappear. It is OK to be this way some days but I have found that it’s so important to have some time with my family. I tend to plan my weekend so that I have my family time one day and the other is my recuperation day. A day of completely nothing. It is hard for me but it is all part of my survival and I know that unfortunately if I don’t take my ‘nothing’ day then my week of work will be so much harder.

There it is, my mini guide. This has taken a long time to get here. I spent the last 5 years before this one working part time and having to take time off.

If I’m completely honest, I don’t think I would be able to work as a full time class teacher as it is like having two jobs at once. I’m lucky as my current job is very full on but manageable. I am working with children on a one to one basis, travelling around. This has been a fantastic way for me to work as a teacher but in an adapted way.

I hope that this will help at least one person. My regular readers know that the purpose of my blog is to raise awareness of FND and to help others where I can. I’m always happy to answer any questions you may have.

I’m so exhausted now so I’m off to continue my rest day in front of the TV.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Charlotte xxx